Happy Valentine

By The Franklin Lakes Journal

Published: February 11, 2009

In Finland Valentine’s Day is called Ystävänpäivä which translates into “Friend’s day”; in Turkey Valentine’s Day is called Sevgililer Günü or “Sweethearts’ Day”. In Guatemala, Valentine’s Day is known as “Día del Amor y la Amistad”, Day of Love and Friendship. And in Venezuela it is called “San Valentíne”, but this year their leader, Chavez, has asked that people focus on electing him president for life and celebrate after his referendum on February 15th.

Chavez is at least just postponing the celebration. Saudi Arabian officials banned the selling of all Valentine’s Day items in 2008; but it only created a black market for roses and heart shaped boxes of chocolate. Those boxes of chocolate are big gift items in Japan and South Korea, and in those countries it’s tradition for the women to give the candy to men.

The history of Saint Valentine’s Day is a knotty issue, and best left to historians who can discuss in depth the 11 some martyrs who died with the name Valentine. Some will argue that the first references to romantic love being linked to Valentine’s Day can be found in Chaucer’s “Parlement of Foules”. Again, let the historians duke this one out amongst themselves. The poetic Middle English lends itself to many interpretations, and the association between Volantyny’s day and romance is probably more coincidental than planned.

But the idea of Valentine’s Day being associated with couples can be found back in 1476 when the English used to celebrate sporting events. The eve before had a custom of names being drawn from both sexes and indiscriminately matched together. It is believed that the custom reached upper-crust society when “Madame Royale, daughter of Henry IV of France, built a palace near Turin and raised the drawing of partners’ names into a parlour game. The earliest surviving valentine exists from 1415 from Charles de Valois, Duke of Orleans to his wife or to his “valentined” while he was being held captured in the Tower of London. Certainly not the happiest poem:

I am already sick of love,
My very gentle Valentine,

Since for me you were born too soon,
And I for you was born too late.
God forgives he who has estranged
Me from you for the whole year.

Probably the most famous of love poems, often attributed to Shakespeare by those familiar only with its beginning lines. Sonnet 43, How do I love thee? Let me count the ways….by Elizabeth Barret Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
Elizabeth browning

Although men generally spend more on Valentine’s Day, the majority of almost one billion cards bought are purchased by women. Valentine’s Day stands second only to Christmas in the number of cards being sent out. Females in the Middle-Ages also assumed an authoritative position on the subject of love in France with the establishment of the “High Court of Love”. Composed of approximately thirty women who adjudicated the principles of love and marriage. The court dealt with love contracts, betrayals and violence against women

The Journal chose to place a yellow rose as a lead picture because this is the symbol of joy and friendship, and not being partnered up with someone is no reason not to partake in the holiday. Like in Guatemala and Findland, Valentine’s does not just have to be a day focused on the romantic. The gushiness that surrounds the holiday can sometimes make queasy even the happiest married couples, and certainly can be a bit depressing for those unattached. An alternate celebration has developed called SAD, Singles Awareness Day, and is celebrated either on February 14th or 15th. The greeting, Happy SAD, can help remind couples that one does not need to be in a relationship to celebrate life.

In any event, whatever the circumstances, give yourself a break and do something nice for someone else.